date 1 - beach group a

[snackcakeordeath]

🍰 You're here at the beach🏖️ with some of the people YOU rated the 🔥hottest🔥 in town, so get ready for your chance to make a summer memory that'll last forever☀️!

🍰 It's up to you to create the 💖best date ever💖. Pick your special someone or someones and find an activity to really wow 'em!

🍰 If sun and surf🏄 doesn't float their boat, then make your move during that gorgeous sunset, or around a bonfire in the evening--timing and activities🦈 are up to you.

🍰 You'll need a public thread with all of your teammates where at least 1 thing is done as a group👫👬. Feel free to have any number of additional threads, public or private, with individual or groups of teammates; the extra effort should pay off with both your datemates and your hosts. Assume that everyone has opportunities to be 💑alone👩‍❤️‍👩🏽 with each other person.

🍰 At the end of the dates💕, you'll play Marry💍/Kiss💋/Kill☠️ on your datemates. Rate your dates✌️🖕 and you're free to go--but remember, they'll be rating you, too😨🤞. Hopefully you pulled out all the stops for all your dates!😎⚰️

🍰 Need some activity suggestions?
+ Swimming, snorkeling, or surfing🏄
+ Kite flying, beach volleyball, or burying someone into a sand castle🐚
+ Scary stories, sparklers, or s'mores over the bonfire🎆
+ Don't forget suntan lotion, you wouldn't want your poor datemates to burn!👒

🍰 At the end of the day, vote here.

Comments

alone time with Dave

[clocked_out]

[Here is Dave. A tall blond in douchebag aviators (even at night) who swaps to shorts but otherwise remains pretty fully clothed.

Dave activities include:

1. Building an erect sand penis man, an effort which he pours a fair amount of artistic dedication and realism into. The man has a face like this

2. Wading out in the ocean. After a bemused moment of letting foam pour through his fingers, he turns back to you.]

Sometimes you go seventeen years without noticing the lack of completely basic skills like not actually being able to fucking swim.

[afailedmurder]

[Akechi unfortunately has no intent to engage with erect sand penis man, though he will burst into laughter upon seeing it and need to duck into the cabana before anyone else sees him.]

[He'll come out for some swimming, though! That's good and wholesome and no one can judge him.]

It's been awhile for me, but I'd be happy to show you a few strokes.

[clocked_out]

After we take a moment to appreciate the 2 x entendre of that statement.

Ok, nice. Sure.

[afailedmurder]

[Folds up his shirt neatly and puts it on a chair before wading into the water.]

First things first — can you float?

[clocked_out]

[Dave leaves both his shirt and shades on. His eyes kind of skitter and lock on to Akechi's face.]

Like, on my back? Probably, but only because I'm pretty sure that's science. Humans just be as buoyant as empty Dorito bags.

[afailedmurder]

Exactly. That's why we'll start with the elementary backstroke.

[Goes in further, until he's deep enough to lean back and float.]

It's not flashy, but it won't wear you out, either.

[clocked_out]

[Dave moves to copy him. It's awkward and it ain't cute but he manages, and glances over at Akechi for further direction.]

[afailedmurder]

Arms out, legs out.

[Demonstrates!]

And then snap them back together. Like so!

[off he goes]

[clocked_out]

[Dave manages to make a very ephemeral water angel, snorting at himself. His next attempt gets him a little bit more momentum.

Are you positive I should be going for a 'snap' here?

[afailedmurder]

[Switches to treading water so he can see better.]

Hmm, maybe more like a whip? It's a rest stroke as well, so you make one explosive motion, and then just float along until you feel like doing it again.

[clocked_out]

[Dave tries another couple strokes more successfully and then cranes his neck up a bit to look at him.]

We're you on the sport team version of this? Or is the meticulous technical detail just your natural type-a way of imparting knowledge?

[afailedmurder]

[Paddles on over.]

The latter. Is that so unusual?

[clocked_out]

Probably. Sorry, I wans't trying to be an asshole; It's not a bad quirk. I also use a lot of words to say things, but it's mostly a bunch of useless horseshit.

[afailedmurder]

You're fine. I'm not offended. It's a cultural difference, I think; we Japanese can only put a fine point on the things that we send anonymously through the internet.

It's a little refreshing, actually. Most people I meet simply pretend to be impressed.

[clocked_out]

How do you know they're pretending?

[afailedmurder]

I'm something of a minor celebrity back home. Nobody actually means anything that they say to me.

[clocked_out]

You singer, too?

[risetting]

Oh my god, what is that?

[ She is literally this close to bursting into laughter. ]

[clocked_out]

[Dave sits up from his dedicated hunch and cracks his back.]

This is a fucking masterpiece.

[risetting]

Pfft-- really? I bet if this is on TV they're already censoring it, you know. Unless they're the kind of studio that doesn't go "think about the children!" Not that I'd be surprised, considering.

[clocked_out]

Rendering sweet bro here an ultimately ambivalent protest piece, which is way more than dignity than I ever gave his misshapen fictional ass.

[risetting]

Wow... I feel kind of bad for his butt. It's so sad...

[clocked_out]

A sad butt for a sad life.

[risetting]

He has a sad life? Is it because he's made of sand or is it something else?

[clocked_out]

I guess it's true he's especially ephemeral in this state but yeah, he's limited in his personal growth by slavish adherence to popular culture.